Sunday, November 1, 2009

Tim, Emily, Brent and I getting crazy on Rock Band! haha ya we totally sucked!
The pirate lovers! SOOO fun...haha we got so many crazy looks everywhere we went. Im so glad we went to the Halloween party!

Tim and I as pirate lovers... with our 'WT' friends Brent & was so fun to dress up! Dont cha love the curlers and the short shorts ?! I do!

Me & Miranda Lewis (& baby Lewis)... I am obviously a super cute pirate and Miranda is my 'WT' (white trash) friend :) haha- Love it!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Disneyland family reunion 09

Every year in September all of our family heads to Disneyland for the family reunion. It was a lot of fun to be with family and hang out at the beach...!
As part of the tradition all of the family eats at Goofy's Kitchen in Disneyland and its cute cause all the Disney character's dress up & walk around from table to table. The reason i dont look to happy in this picture is cause Goofy was a total creeper! I accidentally called him Pluto...& he wasnt happy about that! The character's that are in costume under the suits dont talk they just do hand that made the situation even more awkward...He wouldnt leave until i gave him a hug...and it was a uncomfortable 'long' hug...i know that under that sweaty suit there is a nasty old man...eeeww

Tim and i my two sisters Zina & Camilla..& my mama Denise-going straight to Tower of Terror!!

Family photo! We had a blast and it was cute to all have matching shirts!

After all day walking around both parks we were soooo tired! & it probably wasnt very smart of me to wear flip flops all day cause i had blisters :( We were ready for the day to be over.

Rachel Zina and I are waiting with the family for the Star Wars 'training' to little cousins where in the show and got to go up on stage and fight with was cute.
Tim and I with my Aunt Heather...Love her!

Me and my sisters, Eliza and Zina...right before we drug Eliza into the

Tim looking sexy about to make a run for it onto his skim board...

Tim and i taking a walk down the beach, it was beautiful.

We where craving some fresh fish tacos, so we found this awesome place called Papa's Tacos right on the coast over looking the ocean it was sooo good!!!! I had to take a pic so i never forget :)

Monday, September 28, 2009


I finally told myself this next step i have to take IS real and i have to start planning and getting things ready for the funeral. It was super hard to pick up the phone and call the funeral homes, to tell the lady on the phone that i wanted my babies to be put into the same casket and to discuss my options. Its truly unreal that i am having to bury my babies, it just makes it that much harder. I do feel like i will get some closure when this is all taken care of but in the moment its a horrible thing to face...
I know i am doing a great job at dealing with my situation, but just those little things remind me that im not.
Today i called the Dentist to pay my bill (all the girls in the office know me by name cause i am in their so often) after i paid it, the girl Heidi asked in a cheerful voice 'how are the babies doing', my heart sank, i wanted to hang up but i knew i would probably see her again soon so that wasnt an option...i told her that i lost them both...and then i lost it, just balling on the phone with 'Heidi' the dentist billing lady...she started to cry and said sorry, we hung up. I knew in time this would happen with somebody that would ask that same question and im sure itll happen again, i just didnt know how i would react. Day by day things do get better, i am in a way...happy, im healthy, i have my husband to hold and we have eachother. I am thankful for the things i have and the things i have lost...

Friday, September 11, 2009


On this special day take a minute and think about who you have that's touchable and not what you have lost. Say a prayer for the families that lost someone 8 yrs ago today. Be thankful that you have the gospel and know that you can see your loved ones again someday.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Road trip & just being home...

Since Tim had to fly down from NC on such short notice to make it to the hospital asap he had to leave everything their including our car and all of his belongings. After getting settled in from the hospital we decided that we would just make a road trip out of it. My close friend Melissa got us buddy passes so we could fly for free (Thanks again Melissa!!).
We stayed in NC for 1 night and hung out with everyone Tim worked with during the summer and Jen cut and colored my hair...i really needed it (Thanks Jen, i love it:).
We drove from NC to Nashville TN then to Oklahoma City then stayed in Albuquerque NM & drove home to AZ. It was so nice to be in no rush and just be able to enjoy the drive and make as many stops as we wanted. Im so glad to have my car back im so sick of driving our truck and having to fill it up almost every time i drive it...!
Being home from the hospital has been really hard for me. Just trying to adjust and get back to a "normal" life, sucks. I hate not being pregnant. I hate that i cant feel my son and daughter moving around inside me. I hate that i dont have my due date to look forward to. I hate that i cant stop crying, Tim told me one night when i was sad and couldnt stop the tears from coming that i am going to cry out all of my tears... i dont see how thats possible :( I hate that every time i get into my truck i think to myself how difficult it was to get into it when i was pregnant, or anything i do i think about the last time i did it and that it was when i was pregnant. I hate not having a cute belly. I hate that after everything that happened i cant choose when i want to be reminded and think about everything on my own time and when i want to be sad about it, but that i have to deal with medical bills and the funeral...and people. I hate that i now have to just start doing laundry, dishes, go to church, and just go back to 'life' after everything happened. Its a weird feeling, that i am just me again, not pregnant and with no children...again. Just Eve & Tim. As hard as it is to swallow i do know that everything happens for a reason...Not sure why and i probably wont find out until i am with my children again but i KNOW there is a reason. I know that Tim and i sat down with the Lord in heaven and decided that after trying for 2 years to get pregnant and then after doing IVF fertility that i would get pregnant with twins...a boy and a girl, and they would be born, alive, but would pass away soon after and that we could handle that and that Tim and i are strong enough to get through it. Honestly, that is the only thing i have been able to hold onto. Every time i get sad this pops into my head... 'I never said it would be easy...But i said it would be worth it'...There is a reason...i know it!!!

This is me now. It feels weird not being pregnant, i catch myself with my hand on my stomach out of habit... Im glad i dont have a left over tummy cause that would just make things worse.

We are at Cadillac Ranch in TX! This was the only thing Tim said that we HAD to do on the drive home! It was fun to spray paint...Its crazy to think some farmer long ago decided to stick 8 cars into the ground...Only a man would think to do something like this...

This is the largest cross in the the sign said...Tim is saying a quick prayer

Outside the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville TN. It was soo fun to hang out in Nashville so many fun things to do...the people are so nice and i love how they talk...I love Tennessee, its so beautiful, i would love to live there.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

It feels like a bad dream that i cant wake up from...

On Sunday morning 8/2/09 i woke up feeling normal, i went to church and came home. During church i kept feeling like i had to go #2 the entire time, when i got home i went to the bathroom and when i pushed my water broke. My sister Camilla was living with me she called the ambulance. They took me to Mercy Gilbert hospital (my sister mom & dad met me there) in triage the doctor told me that i was dilated to a 10 & baby A's sack had been ruptured and i was going to deliver both the babies within 15 mins and they would both be born alive and i would hold both, but both would pass away within 1 hour. The only thing i could think about was that i was going to have to go through this entire process alone, without my husband, I felt so alone and helpless. When they took me to labor and delivery another doctor came in and checked me and said that i was only at a 2! I was soo happy and this was the 1st time i had hope that i might not loose both my babies. Tim flu in the next morning, on the first flight out from North Carolina. Over the next 4 days i had lots of blood work, ultrasounds & the babies heart was monitored all several times daily. Both the heart beats were strong even though baby A's sack had basically no fluid in it, the doctors told me that there was a chance that the sack could seal its self and the fluid would fill back up, they also said that some babies can live without a full sack of fluid...everything was an 'if'. Everything leaned on if i would develop an infection...& if so they would induce me. On 8/6/09 i woke up with some contractions...but today i was finally 20 weeks pregnant and could finally be excepted by PPA (its a high risk group of doctors) and since Mercy Gilbert told me daily that there was nothing they could do to stop the contractions and that i had to let nature take its course i was more then ready to be discharged. We went to PPA in Mesa and while at the doctors office (with no meds) i went into labor with my son and delivered right on the chair where you would get your Pap done. My Mom and Tim were at my side. While i was delivering the doc called an ambulance and as soon as i delivered i was able to hold my son for less then 5 mins and we where takin away in separate ambulances' to Banner Desert. That was the last time i saw my son alive. He was 10 ounces & 9 inches long, tiny, but with perfect, little everything.
When i arrived at Banner Desert everything was then pushed into high gear to save baby B since her sack was still perfect. She needed to stay in me until week 24 (at that point she can be delivered and had a chance at life). They put me on magnesium (its a major muscle re-laxer ) i couldnt move my body at all, it makes you feel paralyzed, it makes you have hot & cold flashes & you cant see because your eyes are so relaxed, i honestly felt like i was going to die. They would also give my about 5-6 shots daily of terbutaline, all to stop the contractions & keep baby B inside for as long as possible. Over the next couple days i showed positive signs of no infection and was given hope daily that i might be able to save my daughter. On 8/8/09 i was given a spinal and went in to surgery get my cervix sewed up and would hopefully remain on bed rest as long as possible without getting an infection. On 8/9/09 i woke up in the morning having a hard time breathing, i was consciously having to think about every breath, i started shaking uncontrollably and was all the sudden freezing, this went on for several hours then at one point about 5 doctors and several nurses came in and kept looking at my finger nails (i guess they had turned blue) they explained to me that i had developed ARDS (my lungs had fluid in them) & i had developed an infection and i had to be induced, now. As i was run to the ICU the lung doctor had pulled Tim and my mom and dad aside and advised them what he didnt tell me about ARDS. He advised them that i had a 50/50 chance of survival. During this time i was in the ICU and they got me stabilized and started the induction process. They gave me an epidural so that it would help clam down my shaking and breathing so that i could deliver without passing out. My Mom and Tim were in the room when i delivered my daughter. She was 11 ounces 10 inches. After almost 10 days in the hospital without one second to think about what was actually happening to me i finally got to hold my perfect daughter in my arms. Her heart was beating & she could wrap her long little fingers around my finger and squeeze. It was amazing, i could finally hold my baby girl. Since i could hardly breath on my own i knew that if i broke down and cried the way i wanted to that the nurse would have to take her away from me and stabilize me again, so i had to hold my little girl with no tears. We watched her heart beat for a little over an hour. We held her, i looked at every inch of her body and tried to memorize everything about her warm body. She was so perfect. She had every feature needed, she had my lips and nose. Her shoulders legs feet and hands were Tim's. She didnt cry, open her eyes, or even move much at all...Tim and i just held her close.
Daily my lungs started to clear up and showed less and less fluid & the infection was going away. It was the hardest being in the hospital for just my health knowing that even if i am tuff and stick it out i am still going home empty handed.
I felt like if i wrote about what happened it will make me feel just that little bit better and i wont have to explain everything to everyone. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Eve is in the hospital with Tim at her side.

This is Tim currently blogging for Eve while she is lying in her hospital bed.For those of you who don't know Eve's water broke on Sunday after church.This is not good news because she is only nineteen weeks four days.Baby A's sack (Titus the boy)has burst.The baby has to have this sack to develop his or her lungs. Well she is to early to go into preterm labor but once the sack burst it is making her go into labor she is having contractions and is dilated to a two.So this is a waiting game.The baby has lost his fluid but still has a strong heart beat.We are waiting to see if there will be an infection due to the leaking.Baby b (Blake) is fine.But the infection will affect her.This means there is a high possibility that we will loose both babies.We are trying to make it to twenty four weeks without an infection also trying to avoid going into full labor.The odds are all against us but all we can do is wait and pray.This is by far the hardest thing we have ever had to go through,so keep us in your prayers.We will keep you updated as we can not call everyone back.Thanks for the prayers and support Love Tim and Eve.

Monday, July 27, 2009

We aRe haVinG...

Today Tim and I went to find out what we are having!! &... we are having 1 BOY & 1 GIRL!! Yeah, tell me about it! Could this pregnancy get any better! Goodness! lol, so i was totally balling...of course. It was soooo nice to actually have my husband to hold my hand and to have him at the ultrasound to ask questions instead of just me. I will blog about that later So after the ultrasound and calling everyone i knew...we headed out to Babies R US..and a couple other baby stores in the mall! It was crazy cause i didnt have to limit myself just to the pink stuff...i could totally do Blue too! We have had the names picked out for a while...Our baby boy will be named Titus (we are working on a middle name) & our baby girl will be named Blake Serene (Serene is my middle name)!! I can NOT wait to meet these two little ones! HUH!! I cant stop smiling! :-)!

Blake (baby B)

Titus (baby A) & Blake (baby B)

Titus (baby A) & Blake (baby B)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Lets just face it... i love taking pregnant pictures!! I feel so cute... lol :) 18 wks prego

American Idol concert!!!

On Monday night my super thoughtful sister Camilla (& roommate) invited me to go to the American Idol concert!! It was a total blast! I LOVE Kris Allen...Hello who doesnt!? He is so hot and does the cutest 'side mouth' thing when he sings (if you love him them you know what im talking about!)... Also its so cute cause he is married to his high school lover and they have been together forever. It was fun to hang out with my sister and get out of the house! Since ive been married i dont do to many girls nights but since Tim has been gone its been really fun.

Timmy is coming home on Saturday @ 330pm!! I am counting down the hours. I cant wait to see you babe!!!!! Happy early 23rd birthday Timmy!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

When nothing else mattered to us except being together! Wedding pics 8-20-05

I cant believe how young we look in these wedding pictures...of course i didnt feel like i looked that young when i got married...haha...Its fun to look back and remember that wonderful day!!
When i pulled out these pictures i didnt realize how much we have changed over the past 4 years. When we got married not a lot of people where on our with little help, we had to put the wedding together ourselves. At 18 & 19 yrs old we bought everything to decorate and to make a wedding happen, my dress, food, invitations...yeah everything...It really made us grow up fast.I know that Tim wasnt the standard by the book perfect return missionary that i was suppose to marry but he is what is perfect to me & for me.
Being married to a convert has really made me realize what i took for granted growing up in the church...our families life styles, how we were raised so look back and see how easily Tim excepted the church and has learned to live and love it...What a great example to stop and change everything in your life...What a blessing to know that Heavenly father & Tim decided to be that example to his family and friends long long ago. I cant imagine being with anyone else except Tim, i can truly say he is my best friend. Since we have spent the last couple months apart its made me realize how much we really do need each other. Love you Timmy!!!

More wedding pics 8/20/05

Wedding pics 8/20/05

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

FINALLY, bye bye!!! - Wes!!!!

OMG, I hate Wes! I am so glad that Jillian finally saw his true reasons for being there! I have hated that them from the beginning! Jillian needs to undo the stupid decision of kicking off Jake and bring him back!!!! Watch that’s going to be the surprise for next week… I think that since last season with Jason they had all that dumb drama…now every season here on out they are going to have to either bring someone back or have some dramatic thing happen to keep people watching! I hate that! Just keep it real!
So lets discuss the two men I am in love with… Yes two. Kiptyn and Reid! Before last night I was ALL for kiptyn (ever since Jake was kicked off) but after seeing how cute Reid and Jillian were together I really like them as a couple!? Im SO torn! Kiptyn has an amazing body and just seems like he would make a great hubby. But Reid brings all of that (except the amazing body part…) and he adds his cute personality and sarcasm, they are always laughing…its so cute…
GO BACK TO WORK Ed!! That’s what he needs to do. He is not cute… ya ya he has a good personality (I guess) but Jillian needs the whole package!! Plus he is just kinda weird, I just don’t see them making cute babies… haha-I love this show!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My 4th of July!!

This was the first 4th of July in over 6 years that i havent spent with Tim, so that was kinda hard but the next best thing is hangin out with family!! I drove down to Phx and met up with my sister in-law Tisha and her husband Johnny, we went over to Johnny's parents house and had a bbq and did some swimming. Johnny's mom Candie took some cute pictures! So...all you ladies know what i am talking about... you know when you look down at your tummy (when you're standing up) it looks flat or smaller then when you look from the side?!! Yeah so this whole time i really havent taken many pictures of my tummy cause i didnt think it was to that 'pregnant stage' yet...maybe i just looked like i was eating too much! Well i was wrong! When i looked at these pics i couldnt believe how much my tummy has grown and how big it really is! I love it even more now! I am 15 wks pregnant and counting :)
Later that night we drove out and watched the fire works and honestly i do love fire works but i think its WAY better when you're a kid, or maybe thats just me...or maybe its cause im going where the fire work show All i could think about while watching the show was what next year will be like with my twins and husband watching the fire works for the first time! I cant wait! I think that life in general will just be more exciting...since ive known Tim for so long you get to a point where you just know what he's thinking or going to do next...With these two new people in my life i wont know them at all and it will be so fun to live a whole new life with them :)... HAPPY 4TH!!

15 wks prego

4th of July prego pics with my sister in-law Tisha!!!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

My two babies Jayden and Jake

Double Trouble

So since its finally (almost) sunk in that im going to have two babies and i need double everything... I probably should start looking around at double the stuff... Today for the first time (im sure out of many to come...) i went to Babies R Us with some friends. I cant bring myself to buy anything...YET!! We find out what im having on 7/27 @ 8am! Soooo at 9am i will probably be at Babies R Us shoppin! Im hoping for 2 boys or one of each...i really dont want two girls... i have 5 sisters and i cant imagine raising two girls the same age, same grade, same everything...DRAMA! No thanks! But of course let me just add that im thankful for whatever healthy babies i get :) Anyways back to the reason why i even am writing this post... I have been looking for a front to back double stroller that i can put two infant car seats in then when the babies get old enough i can use the stroller for toddlers... Ive only been able to find one and its soo ugly! If anyone can HELP! Or knows anyone that has twins or knows someone that has twins...anything will help me out!!!!