3 weeks old - Tim is 24!

Its crazy to me that my time has come and i am finally a stay at home mama and have two kids! But reality strikes when the night comes and i dont sleep at all. Two babies really is hard, i am always thinking how easy one baby would be.

I am breastfeeding, pumping and supplementing. Even with pumping i am not producing enough milk to solely breastfeed, i just barely got the twins to their birth weight cause they werent getting enough food, it sucked to find that out the hard way. Breastfeeding twins is sooo difficult, i refuse to give up though, breast milk is so much cleaner and the twins like it so much more... but it really is harder then i thought id be. Feeding them at the same time is the best way for me to BF them, but Skyler always falls asleep. Zane is a trooper and does great. But BF is really hard...i feel like i am constantly feeding them cause i cant tell if they are getting enough to eat when at the breast, so pumping and feeding them works better for me...so i know how much they are eating and make sure they get enough. Also Tim or someone else can help me so i can finish twice as fast. Deciding how the feedings will work daily and trying to keep them on the same schedule is my biggest challenge right now.

The twins are 3 weeks old and i am moving them into their room into their crib. The twins make so much noise that keeps me awake, i only wanna hear when they cry and need me, so i decided they`re being kicked out of my room :) Sorry babes!

Skyler & Zane have a diaper rash! UUGGG, its horrible! Its crazy to me that a kid can get a rash when they are being changed every 3 hours if not more then that! I feel so bad for them, poor Zane SCREAMS like i am ripping his arm off every time i change him

Zane is so strong and big! He can hold his head up and he doesnt fit into any of his preemie clothes. He is such a chubby guy compared to his sister. I freakin LOVE his hair!! He doesnt even need any product, if you run a comb through it his hair will just go right into a mohawk, soo cute! Zane weighs 7lbs 7oz.

Skyler is so tiny and i really do love her cry, i know its weird to say...but its just such a cute cry...its probably cause she never cries so when i hear it i know she really needs something and really is sad!! She also makes the cutest noises when she sleeps, like really cute noise!! Skyler weighs 5lbs 3oz.

I AM A MAMA. Its crazy. I pray every night and thank Heavenly Father for sending my two healthy kids & for making my one dream of becoming a mother come true.

It`ll be one year on Aug 6th & 9th that my little angels Blake & Titus were given to us then taken away. I find myself crying more and more the closer i get to those dates. Its hard to hold my twins and not think i should have two one year old babies running around. I cant help but think that Skyler and Zane know them better then i do and actually got to spend time with them before entering this world into my arms. Hopefully Zane and Skyler learned something from them and brought with them some of their personality so i am able know and feel my angels through my twins. I am thankful for what i have and what ive been through, its truly molded me into who i am today.