Tuesday, October 26, 2010

my first 5k- Almost 4 months old!

Not even 4 months after i delivered the twins on Oct 23rd I ran my first 5k at South Mountain, my time was 47mins, 15 min miles! It was amazing, i loved every second of it, cant wait to do my next run in about a month on Thanksgiving! Half way through the run i got really tired, my dad had said there would be a couple small hills...yeah, he totally lied, there were huge hills, i hadn't trained for that, but i never stopped. I slowed down to a fast walk twice for less then a minute each while trying to basically hike up the hill, once i got up the hills, i got my second wind and was feeling good again. AND i will say part of me getting my second wind was due to the fact that this huge lady passed me, and i told myself..."if she can do it then i totally can"! its funny what motivates you :) My dad also enjoys running and did a half marathon the same day, i waited for him at the finish line after 13 miles and 2 1/2 hr run and when we crossed the finish line i gave him the biggest huge and he just balled his eyes out, i was so proud of him, i saw the strong dad i looked up to growing up when we hugged. it was a special moment in time...we both cried then got a massage and talked and talked about our runs.
during my run this old old man with a full head of white hair ran off the course and totally went pee on the side of the road (yeah, i totally saw everything) in the bushes! then when he got back on the road and started running again the front of his shorts were totally soaked! he looked at me and said "i had to pee" and just went on with the run! lol it was awesomely gross!
I feel so much better about myself, ive found myself after i am done getting ready to go somewhere thinking to myself that i feel cute :) and when you can tell yourself that and its not coming from someone else, you know your making progress! cause we all know people tell you things just to try to make you feel better, people lie. Every morning a couple girls and i push our kids in the stollers around the neighborhood for about an hour and speed walk, its so beautiful outside, its so much fun to get away from the house in the morning and get to spend some time outside with some girls! Plus i dont think the twins like being cooped up all day, they want to feel the wind in their hair too! Then later in the day Tim and I drop the kids off the at ymca daycare almost every night at 7pm and we work out for an hour, its great to have an hour alone each day with just Tim, we can talk about our day without worrying about the kids, we can flirt, and just have a small date every night. It really helps me too cause Tim is really great about always getting to the gym, we keep each other motivated, if he doesn't want to go then i make him and if i dont wanna go he makes me! Sometimes we finish early and hit the hot tub! I look forward to 7pm every night, even if i dont really feel like working out, i go! If just to get some alone time!

i plan to do this race again next year, but do the half marathon with my dad, i look forward to comparing pictures and times from this year to next!

zane and sky in their cute Vans shoes!

This is Zane`s "oh" face with my youngest sister Eliza! He always does this when he is sleeping.

My handsome son Zane (dont mind the burp clothe that says Skyler!)

The twins are getting so big and i hardly feel like they are babies anymore! They will be 4 months old on Nov 2nd!
Zane will totally talk to Tim is so cute, oh and only Tim, i cant get him to talk back to me! Tim will make noises like "hoo hoo" and Zane will totally do it back to him! Its like they are having their own little conversation! If you tickle under zanes arm he will giggle ! When Zane is in the bath now he hits the waters and plays with it! Its cute to see him slash the water around. When zane smiles he keeps his mouth closed and shows off that one cute dimple on the left side of his cheek, his smile is going to seriously melt some ladies!! Sometimes when we try to get him to laugh he will laugh or smile he will get shy and hide his face with his hands or put his face into whatever is in front of him. He has been sleeping from 10pm to 430am, then we take him downstairs put him the swing and he will go back to sleep or just hang out, and i will sleep on the couch. Sky sleeps from 10pm-530am and we do the same with her. zane doesnt really like to stand up much, he would rather sit, but he does love the fan. he will lay under the ceiling fan for hours just laughing and looking at it! it totally keeps him busy! He is such a good eater, he is great at breastfeeding and great at taking the bottle, he will eat about 5oz each feeding.

Skyler is such a happy baby! She isnt very fond of the headbands i am constantly putting on her head, she wont take them off but they always seem to fall over her eyes when she is in her car seat, i dont car though, she will wear them. Even if she is decked out in all pink i have still been asked if i have two boys??? Whats wrong with people! Its only happened 3 times, ive counted, so she will ALWAYS have a headband on! She loves to kick her feet around, she always has her feet in the air kicking from and moving her arms around. She is constantly smiling, but she smiles the most at night at 530am when she wakes up to eat! Most of the time when the bottle or nipple is in her mouth she is smiles so big she wont even close her mouth to eat, its cute, but not that cute when your tired and u just want her to eat so you can go back to bed! lol, but of course we just cant help but smile! She LOVES to stand up! If you hold both her hands she will stand up and just laugh and smile and totally coo at you, i love it. when she is breastfeeding she will look up at me, smile, then dig her face into my boob while laughing and having this biggest smile on her face, its so cute! When she smiles she opens her entire mouth, its not just a gum shot its a whole mouth totally open full of happiness shot!! Its so dificult to feed sky, she is always fighting you, constantly moving her head around from side to side when your trying to force the bottle into her mouth, Tim and I always fight over who gets to feed zane, cause he just eats and is done, sky likes to drag on the feeding for as long as possible. Thankfully both the twins love their swings! I have 3, just in case one breaks or the batteries die i have a backup! The swings are kinda like my "sister wives" :) Sky is finally great at breastfeeding, she can finally do a whole feeding on just the breast, and i dont have to top her off when we are done with the bottle, it great, but she still takes longer to eat then Zane! I know a lot of moms with twins or multiples like to breastfeed the twins at the same time, but i really dont like doing that. I enjoy breastfeeding and spending time with one at a time and bottle feeding the other, then every other feeding, we switch and the other bf and the other gets the bottle. I feel like when i bf them its my bonding time with that individual child, i can just cuddle and love on them and not have the other one trying to get my attention at the same time, i try my hardest to treat them like individuals and not like twins.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Disneyland 2010

Every year we go to Disneyland for our family reunion! The past couple years were always tons of fun, ridding all the rides and basically running around doing whatever we wanted...But this year was a different kind of fun with the twins being there. We wanted to stop and take more pictures, go on baby rides and just watch how and if the twins would react to everything, this year was super fun!
Of course i had to make a matching outfit for the twins to have for each day we were at Disneyland! We are really looking forward to next year, the twins will be 13 months old and will be able to interact with everything a little more rather then just eat and sleep. all and all it was so much fun to be with family and get away!
The twins first time at the beach. Skyler slept mostly the entire time. Zane was awake, it was super windy so he didnt like that at all! I kept him bundled up tight and just held him!

Monday, October 4, 2010

life after pregnancy

ive been having a really tough time with the way i look. (i know everyone says they go through this after delivering a baby... so i guess it my turn). Ive always been the first to say dont complain if your not doing anything about it! so this is me complaining...yet i am doing something about it. but i need to vent. i hate my body. i hate to look in the mirror. everything about myself, i can always find a flaw. i feel bad for Tim to have to see me naked. i keep my shirt on when we have sex. i dont have anything to wear that i like and i refuse to spend money on fat clothes. i hate it. i truly do. this is an honest post. i guess i didnt really believe it when people said that your body changes after having kids. but it doesnt just change, its ruins it. ive never felt like this before. ive always been skinny, never had to really think about being fat. then you get pregnant and feel cute throughout your entire pregnancy, getting a cute hard belly. but BAMB you give birth, and your tummy turns from hard and cute to soft and gross. i feel like i literally GAVE my hot body to sky and zane, as if i gave up having a no stretchmarks and flat tummy to my kids so they could enjoy having nice bodies throughout their life`s, while i am left with stretched skin, stretchmarks that seem an inch deep you can almost see my insides, and then on top of everything i cant fit into anything.
okay, that was me venting. now for the prep talk. i am constantly working out, i love running, swimming laps, and i am doing all of it, all the time. eating good really isnt that hard when you hate what you see in the mirror, i feel like all i eat is tuna from the can, turkey burgers, fish and brown rice. i know in time i will loose the weight and that i will also have a sexy body again....WITH CLOTHES ON. & i think i am okay with that, the only person that sees me naked is Tim, the world sees me clothed, so i know i can be cute that way. i need to be skinny for me, for myself and for my husband. tim says he loves me no matter what...but what man wouldnt prefer a skinny wife then an over weight one?? an honest man shouldnt lie about that?! i know i would hate it if my spouse wasnt what he used to look like. i would still love him, but it would just be different.
now that i have kids...working out is my way out. literally. my out. i run outside and get away for an hour or more a day. i enjoy being away. even if i dont feel like working out i still do, if only to get some alone time.
i love the spirit that dwells inside me, i love my testimony and what life has taught me, death, hate, love, the birth of my 4 children, but i dont love my body. but with all of these things i have a choice, and i choose to be healthy, strong in the church and believe in myself...that i can do it, that i can love myself the way i did before the twins. i want to be a hot mom, and i cant wait to make that happen!!!