I finally told myself this next step i have to take IS real and i have to start planning and getting things ready for the funeral. It was super hard to pick up the phone and call the funeral homes, to tell the lady on the phone that i wanted my babies to be put into the same casket and to discuss my options. Its truly unreal that i am having to bury my babies, it just makes it that much harder. I do feel like i will get some closure when this is all taken care of but in the moment its a horrible thing to face...
I know i am doing a great job at dealing with my situation, but just those little things remind me that im not.
Today i called the Dentist to pay my bill (all the girls in the office know me by name cause i am in their so often) after i paid it, the girl Heidi asked in a cheerful voice 'how are the babies doing', my heart sank, i wanted to hang up but i knew i would probably see her again soon so that wasnt an option...i told her that i lost them both...and then i lost it, just balling on the phone with 'Heidi' the dentist billing lady...she started to cry and said sorry, we hung up. I knew in time this would happen with somebody that would ask that same question and im sure itll happen again, i just didnt know how i would react. Day by day things do get better, i am in a way...happy, im healthy, i have my husband to hold and we have eachother. I am thankful for the things i have and the things i have lost...
You ARE doing great Eve. You are trudging through this. We love you. We are always here if you need anything
ReplyDeleteEve you are an amazing inspiration to me. I do not know if I could have made it throu as well as you did/are. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you ease a burden. We love you.
ReplyDeleteI think of you constantly and you are in my prayers. You are a very strong person and I'm fortunate to know you.
ReplyDeleteEve you are stronger than you think you are. You will get through this. Just take it day by day and we will keep you in our prayer.
ReplyDeleteHey sis just wanted to say I love you and I know I haven't been around. I just don't want to bother you guys and I know that this is the hardest thing you will ever have to go through. I dont think I would ever be able to get through life the way you are. You are an amzing and strong person. And I know you and tim will see your beautiful little babies again someday. I am glad to hear your healthy. We were all worried about you. I still think about you and Tim everyday. I miss you guys. I miss all our family. I am going through alot on my own personal battles and i see how well your doing and it just makes my battles so much less important than what you and tim have gone through. I love you sis keep your head up and if you need anything Im just a phone call away -- love michelle
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